After a couple of days at home things aren’t as bad as they could be, but still I have no idea how we are going to get back to normal. Two kids is more than double the work. It is some sort of exponential math thing. Not sure exactly what the equation is but the graph looks something like this.
X is the number of kids and Y is the amount of work to do anything. Doesn’t matter that it is, it just takes a lot more work.
Wesley is adjusting and seems genuinely interested in Jillian. He likes to kiss her and hug her and be near her, but usually only for thirty seconds or so at a time. He isn’t nearly as bothered by her crying as I thought he would be. He doesn’t stick his fingers in his ears, but sometimes it does get him crying too. You’d think that he would keep her up, but she sleeps fine through all his noise. He just can’t sleep through her crying.
I would say he has a pretty genuine interest in her. He asks about her almost immediately when he wakes up and every time we get home and she isn’t downstairs. At the pool or on a walk he has been pointing out babies with increased interest. I’m glad he cares, but it is obviously hard on him too. He has been giving Amber a really hard time. He doesn’t want her to pick him up out of his crib and will only spend time with her with some serious coaxing. The more he pushes against Amber the more he sticks to me. I feel like I’ve got static cling. That kid is stuck on me like a dark blue sock. He wants “UP!” all the time and we aren’t apart very much. I’ve got a little dent on my side shaped like Wesley. Should the sun come back he is going to give me tan lines.
Not that I’m complaining. I love spending time with him. He is a joy to be with and I am getting so excited about his developing language skills. I can’t wait to really talk to him. I can tease out what he is thinking now, but it is hard with big gaps. It will be wonderful to hear what is going on in that brilliant little noggin. But for all my luck, Amber is having a very hard time. She is feeling pretty hurt by all this. I’ve tried to tell her he’ll grow out of it pretty quickly, but I know how bad it feels. He treated me like that for a few months and they were long, hard months for me. I don’t think he’ll push her away that long, but I know that every minute can be tough when he doesn’t want you around.
Jillian is the reverse of Wesley. Not just because she is a girl, but because she is a totally different little baby. She tolerates me, but loves Amber. She sleeps through anything and doesn’t need much bouncing, swaying, or shushing to get her to calm down. She sleeps for hours and we have to wake her up to feed. Maybe that is why I feel a little less needed with her than I did when Wesley was this little. He was so hard to sooth that even Amber had a hard time. She needed my help keeping him calm. But with this little girl all you need is to make sure she wakes up often enough to eat. Not that she doesn’t have her fussy moments, but usually the only thing that makes her happy then is the breast. Mine are too hairy and not really up to the job. So I’m focusing on Wesley. He needs the extra attention anyway.
