Cry It Out

Last night was the breaking point with regards to Jillian’s sleeping patterns.  She has been spending increasing amounts of time in bed with us or in her swing.  She has been eating more often at night and has been more difficult to get back to sleep.  Amber hasn’t been sleeping much at all and I’ve been sleeping fitfully at best.  So with Amber in tears I told her to get some rest in the guest room and we started the cry it out method we used with Wesley (who was no easy sleeper himself).

The method, which we first saw in a book by Dr. William Sears, go something like this:

• You put the kid down to sleep and wait 5 minutes before you go back in the room.
• If they are still crying at 5 minutes you go in, pat or rub them gently to let them know you are there and maybe “shush” them a bit.  Preferably you don’t talk, but that is hard sometimes and you only stay in the room for about a minute.  The idea is to let them know you are near and they aren’t abandoned, but not to rile them up or make them dependent on you to get back to sleep.
• Now you wait 10 minutes before you go back in and repeat the above step.
• You go in at the following intervals, 5 minutes, 10, 15, 20, 30, 45, and 60 minutes.

Wesley could quite easily and often go through an entire 60 minute session of screaming.  At the end of 60 minutes he had already been awake and yelling for 3 hours and 5 minutes (5+10+15+20+30+45+60=185 minutes).  Last night Jillian fell asleep in the middle of the 30 minute crying period and slept for about 4 hours.  The 65 minutes or so was an especially long time for me because I was actually in the room.  It is never easy.  It is always pretty brutal in fact.  You feel like a terrible parent and every minute is excruciating.  It is even worse if you are in the same room.  You not only feel incredibly guilty, but it is extremely loud and unpleasant to boot.

When she woke up about 4 this morning it only took partway into the 10 minute session for her to fall asleep.  Same goes for her naps today.  Hopefully she’ll be a bit easier than Wesley was with the whole sleeping thing.  Amber and I are probably going to start sleeping in the office/Jillian’s room/guest room until she sleeps through the night on a regular basis.  We are afraid, especially during the very screamy beginning, that she’ll wake Wesley up as their rooms share a wall.  The last thing we need is two screaming kids all night.  Picture it:  Wesley finally falls asleep, Jillian screams, wakes up Wesley.  Jillian falls asleep, Wesley screams waking Jillian up.  Repeat until dawn or total parental insanity occurs.

We are actually in the middle of a 10 minute session right now.  She is down for a nap and I think she has gone to sleep.  Nope, almost.  Wish us luck…I’m going to need it tonight.

 

Tags: Cry it out, Dr. Sears, Jillian, sleep, Wesley